This weekend, I was privileged to study the actions of
species called the “new
grandparent” right in my own home. My parents came to visit and in hind sight… I
should have made a documentary.
See, my clever, creative and cunning (always room for alliteration)
sister-in-law started a blog in which my nephew Philip can share his thoughts
and post video.I must say, he is incredibly
well written for 3-month-old. It was such a brilliant idea, that my parents are
playing Philip videos constantly. I have found myself starting to do the same.
Here is the video so you can laugh before I go all heavy on you… no worries
there always a hope at the end of my posts.
IS HE NOT THE
BEE KNEES!!!!
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| Oh Hello World, I'm Philip and this is my Amazed Face! |
My parents are both incredible human beings and did an amazing job parenting my brother and I (just look at the prodigies that Jared and I have become!) and we had a lovely time together (love you mam and dad)! Any who, during our 35th visit to the blog this
weekend there was a small line written by my nephew (tehe) that struck an
unusual chord in my heart. In a perfect world, it should have been nothing more
than a common statement, but if you live anywhere but under a rock, you know
that our world is far from perfect. This is what Philip wrote,
“Highs, lows, a couple of surprises and one very pleasing
compromise all occurred this week. Last week ended on a low point for me, but
it was for a good reason. My daddy left for Maxwell Air Force Base on Saturday
to begin his Commissioned Officer Training, which means mommy and I won’t see
him for 5 weeks when we move to Virginia Beach. Even though mommy and I are sad
that we can’t be with him, my daddy is
my hero and we are very proud of him
for his choice to serve our nation.”
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| My FAVORITE new family! |
The issue of fatherhood for some reason has been reoccurring
in my life if only to compel me to write to all of you. How many of us actually
think of our dad’s as heroes… as OUR heroes? The answer should be 100% but if I
were a bettin’ woman, I would place a lot of money on a less than 50% statistic
that we look at our fathers and think … My Hero!
My dear friend Anthony said a few weeks ago “ I believe that
one of the devil’s greatest victory has been to destroy fatherhood in this
nation”, and I tell you that my heart stopped at the truth in this statement.
Think about it. If it is a man’s deepest desire to know that
he has what it takes and it is a woman’s deepest desire to know that she is
lovely then who are the first people to which we look for this answer? Our
parents! And who is supposed to be the leader of the family? Our father! We as
young children look to our fathers for the answer to this question but often
times, because of either his words, his actions, or his absence, we hear a very
loud no when we should have hear yes.
Where do we go? What do we do if the earthly man responsible
for our life tells us that we do not have what it takes or we are not
beautiful? No matter what excuse we make for ourselves, the disaster of
fatherhood taking place in the world today is sending us spiraling; we are looking
for someone, anyone to tell us “Yes, my son you DO have what it takes. Yes my
daughter, you ARE lovely.” But the problem is no matter how many times we get a
yes from others, we have one NO screaming to our hearts in the background,
ruining everything.
Yes, Anthony… the devils biggest victory was to destroy
fatherhood because in destroying the role of a dad, the family is destroyed,
our self-worth is distorted, and we can’t even begin to love our Heavenly
Father… our image of Him looks too much like that of our earthly father.
Devastating.
So then what do we do? To spend our lives wallowing in the
identity given to us by our earthly fathers will lead us to way too many
terrible choices for which our father’s can not be held responsible. There must
be a better option… especially since the devil is NOT the victor in this story.
My suggestion (take it or leave it) is to become an adult.
St. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 13: 10 – 12
“But when the perfect arrives, the imperfect passes away.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child. But when I became a man, I put aside
the things of the child.”
When we walk out of our childhood into adulthood we can give
our earthly fathers a break because perfection has arrived, our Heavenly
Father. If we are looking to the Heavenly Father for the answers to our
questions, then the distorted answers that we were given as a child (the
imperfection) pass away. All of a sudden, the “No you do not have what it
takes” and the “ No you are not lovely” noise that is constantly screaming in
our hearts is stomped out and overcome with a resounding and permanent YES MY
SON, YES MY DAUGHTER! YOU DO HAVE WHAT IT TAKES! YOU ARE LOVELY!
When we walk out of our childhood into adulthood we can
forgive our earthly fathers because we see that they might be just as confused
and lost as we. Imperfection passes, and perfection arrives. Our Heavenly
Father is NOT CONFUSED or LOST! He knows our identity and he is constantly
reminding us of whom we are,
1 John 3:1 “ How great is the love the Father has lavished
on us, we should be called children of God! AND THAT IS WHAT WE ARE!”
Finally, we walk out of our childhood into adulthood we can
take responsibility for the family that we will have one day. If we are looking
to Perfection for our identity, then our children will not hear no when they
ask us if they are worthy. They will hear a loud and permanent YES, because we
are free to give them one.
We can be the generation that restores the beauty of the
family and it starts with fatherhood (sorry men, no pressure!). Women, hold the men
around you up to a new standard, to an adult standard! It’s time that we quit
allowing our twenty somethings to be boys who can shave (shout out Matt Chander for the term) and have sex!
Men look to the Father for your worth and act out of the
identity that HE gives you. This will guarantee that your children will be
saying what my nephew did “ Daddy is my hero”.
Love you all!
Mallory
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