Beating Around...Good Friday Truthiness

I was not going to write today (like I write every day or something). But I had a small, familiar epiphany this morning and I feel the need to share.

I have struggled so much in the past months with the feeling that I can never perform well enough as a Christian (btw this is the ultimate joy stealer). I mean I have had unbelievably petty battles in my head regarding this issue. Just last night, I was sitting in my bed praying a rosary for Holy Thursday and instead of meditating all I could think was… I bet this would be more pleasing to God if I were kneeling. I am also car shopping because I recently totaled mine and I (still) can not shake the feeling that God’s affection for me will be driven (pun intended) by what kind of car I end up buying.

Do you ever feel this way? That no matter what you DO, you could have done better and God would love you more? Is this not the most bonding feeling in the world? Is that not contrary to the gospel message, that we have been set free from bondage?

This Is How Precious You Are!!!!

Well God gave me a loving reminder this morning as I focused on the events of Good Friday. See, I was journaling and had all of this toil and angst weighing down on my heart. I was trying to fight it as I read John’s account of the crucifixion but couldn’t. And then I came to Christ’s final words, IT. IS. FINISHED. The bible then says the He exhaled and surrendered His spirit. All I could picture was an incomprehensibly exhausted Jesus Christ FINALLY finishing His task. After all the mockery and hate…it was finally over. Whether you believe in Him or not, you cannot deny what He endured, we will NEVER EVER EVER understand. But the end did come, and with a final surrender His sufferings ended and His glory began.

As I read this, I was overwhelmed with this conviction… Jesus Christ went through ultimate and humiliation so that I would know that I AM PRECIOUS and I am busy over here worried about kneeling or sitting to win His affection. Why am I wasting my time trying to 1. Earn what I can’t 2. Make God love me when He already does beyond my imagination?

You are taught this, but do you know it? Do you own it? Or do you look in the mirror and see the subpar? Do you go to church (or not go) and feel like you will never measure up? Do you live your life trying to be good so that you will be loved? Do you measure God’s affection for you based on your “good person” performance that week? Are you exhausted by it? Just stop! God CAN NOT possibly love you anymore, He knows all of your weaknesses and he still endured every step of Calvary to show you how precious you are to Him.

Do you wallow in any type of regret? Do you let your insecurities rule the way you look at yourself and others? Are you self-righteous because you cannot possibly understand a love this deep so you focus on tangible behavior? Do you struggle with addiction of any type at all? Do you have issues in your mind and heart that you believe would appall the loved ones around you? If any of your struggles, no matter what they are, cause you to questions Christ’s love for you, JUST STOP! Today we celebrate that fact that NONE OF IT MATTERS! All the weight of our wickedness was taken away! Christ sees you as precious, live in that truth! Don’t believe the lie that God’s affection for you can ever be earned.

 Therefore, if I stare at the crucifix and continue to wallow in my sin…I am again slapping and mocking my God because I am saying that after the price He paid to tell me that I am lovely wasn’t enough. But my friends, as He said, “ It Is Finished”, exhaled the last of His suffering and died… He looked at YOU and said… You ARE LOVELY!

YOU ARE ENOUGH! Believe that today!

Happy Good Friday!