Beating Around….Lent

Hello my blog readers! I didn’t like the format of my old blog, not because tumblr isn’t a great avenue for expression and thought but because I didn’t know how to format it well. So what did I do? Why I’m American aren’t I? I got rid of it and got a new, easier model! I need to be able to embarrass myself in creative ways than writing without having to think too much. And so enters…Beating Around the Bueche. I really want to take credit for the name but I can’t because it wasn’t my idea. It was the idea of dear friend and comical enthusiast Heidi Vanessa Giles (You are so pretty Heidi!).

So anyway, let’s begin.

I woke up this morning with a glimmer of excitement that literally gave my eyes a special twinkle (this twinkle also could have been left over from my visit to Magic Kingdom with cousin and princess Amanda Johnson but who can really say). Yes everyone, Ash Wednesday is finally here complete with forty fabulous days of sacrifice, prayer, atonement and fasting. Well BRING ON THE SACRIFICE CHALLENGE because I have forty days to blame my bizarre behavior on the Catholic church with little judgment (thanks to the “Oh I gave that up” excuse) coming my way. Oh. So. Sweet!

 Now I realize that my deep love for the season of Lent is completely strange because two years ago Lent meant nothing to me. It was meaningless, meatless Fridays if I remembered and a reason to justify my lack of reverence for the season. But as God will always have His way, that changed.

During the summer of 2010 as my friends and family know, I went on a mission trip to Prague. It was one of the first times in my life that many of my normal comforts were taken away from me. I went with none of my close friends, no one was catholic, and I didn’t bring a computer which meant I had to borrow from others when they weren’t using theirs. On top of that my time was not my own. We had devotional every morning, followed by a trip to the local university to talk to foreign atheists whose first language was NOT English about a Jesus in whom they did not believe. One word: AWKWARD. Another word: UNCOMFORTABLE.

Yes, these little comforts may seem small (come on Mal, make new friends, who care about denominations, and about the lap top…. REALLY!?!) but over time they began to wear on me. And as they wore on me, my attitude turned black. Through this experience I came face to face with the facts that I am super selfish with my time, have a problem with authority and hate it when someone is getting all of the attention that I “deserve”. Oh, and I also come with a side of completely undeserved self-righteousness. Sound like your next best friend?

I would sit and journal about my sour attitude every morning until I would hear in my heart “ Yeah, you do have a problem with all of these things, now would you please let go of them and grab onto me? “ DANG! My God loves me despite me, I Love That!

All of the discomfort that summer left me to focus on my God and the state of my heart. With an honest view of my ugliness and an honest view at the love of my God, I was changed. After I got home, I found my self longing to be placed in the discomfort that brought me so close to my Lord, that finally left me clinging on to Him for my strength instead of business or quick wit or a mountain of excuses for why I am the way that I am! It was then that I realized that I have a 40 day opportunity every year to willingly become uncomfortable! WHAT A GREAT IDEA CATHOLIC CHURCH! The meaning of Lent has been lost in tradition and rules (I mean CAN you break penance on Sunday?... COP OUT!) but in reality it is an amazing opportunity to voluntarily rid ourselves become uncomfortable, forcing change in our lives.

In the book of Isaiah 30:15 tells us “"In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.”

Isn’t this us for most of the year? We make ourselves conveniently busy because to be left alone with Our God and ourselves is SO uncomfortable. We know that we fall short but it is just to easy to put on a front and leave our heart alone.

Lent is your opportunity to get uncomfortable!  It is your opportunity to literally change over the next 40 days! It’s a time for us to put all of our “shoulds” into action. Yes, we should be nicer, we should be more compassionate, we should be less judgmental, we should pray more, we should read our bible, we should do a lot of things that we just don’t do because we are way to comfortable to have to change. Lent is the opportunity to force life change, to take action in becoming the person that you want to be, the person that God calls you to become. It really is amazing, and it’s not a particularly fun process, but it is a GOOD process.

With that said, I was driving to church this morning with a delicious cup of coffee in my hand. I have thought about giving up coffee for probably three years now but every time I come up with an excuse not to. Guess what! If a cup of brown caffeine has that much of a hold in my life, then it needs to go for a while, my relationship with it is unhealthy. So guess what… goodbye coffee, hello headache and I will see you in 40 days.

What is it that you cling to? That you think that you can’t live without or think you could never start doing? Go BIG this Lent, make it different, stretch yourself. Any part of you that dies probably shouldn’t be alive in the first place.  You will be different come Easter Sunday and whatever you sacrificed will still be waiting for you on the other side.